


go ahead and cry little boy

by anxiousrubyy



Category: I Was Born for This - Alice Oseman
Genre: Angst, How do I tag?, M/M, Strippers & Strip Clubs, fluff??, idk how long is this shit gonna be, lister is sad and sexy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:55:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25939282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousrubyy/pseuds/anxiousrubyy
Summary: Idk if I’m gonna continue writing this lmao. Just this too me like 2 weeks to write. (I’m not english speaking person)Also big thanks goes to my friends Evan and Matilda for helping me to find grammar errors.
Relationships: Allister "Lister" Bird/Jimmy Kaga-Ricci
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	go ahead and cry little boy

Tw: sexual assault

** Jimmy’s pov **

I’m sitting on the back seat of one of my family’s cars. My driver keeps talking about something but i don’t know when she’s gonna realize that I’m not listening to her. She ofter talks about her dogs so i guess that’s what she’s talking about. 

I still can’t believe that I’m actually going to strip club. I’m not into this stuff but my friend invited me for drink. He works there. Not like he’s stripper or anything. Just as bartender. A really good one. 

I already hear the music. So loud it’s disgusting. I can feel the anxiety on my chest but It’s too late to turn back. 

The car stops.

“We’re here Jim.”

“Thank you very much Angel. I will give you a call when I want you to drive me home, ok?”

She turns to look at me. “You know you’re not suppose to call me Angel.”

Fucking god. Those are one of the rules that my parents have. I can’t call my servants by a nickname. Fuck that. I’m gonna call them whatever i like. 

“Well you’re not suppose to call  me  Jim .”

I  see the fear in her eyes after i said that. My parents are very strict about this.

I smile at her. “Don’t worry about it. When my parents aren’t around i can call you how ever i want.” Her expression relaxes and she turns back, leaving her hands on the driving-wheel. 

“Well enjoy yourself. Call me anytime you need. I’m not planning on going to sleep anyway.” I would like to take her with me but I already know that she has some job to do. 

Iopen the door. “Thank you. Drive safe” I say, before I leave the car. After I close the door the car immediately drives off which makes me kinda freak out. My eyes caught a purple light, coming from the big sign. “Mystics”

I feel the anxiety on my chest again. 

** Lister’s pov **

I vomit the last bit that was in my stomach. I can feel some tears on my cheeks. 

One last night. One last dance. After this I’m gonna have finally the weekend off. 

I stand up and look in the mirror. I look like i was hit by train but It’s not something that some make-up can’t fix. I splash some water in my face in hope no one can tell I was crying. A lot of people see me as that slut without any feelings, but the truth is that I cry myself to sleep after every hookup. I’m always so sick of myself. I’m sick of the humanity. I’m just toy for someones pleasure. I want to be more than that. I want to be loved not just for my body and look. 

I made myself cry again.

Someone is knocking on the door. 

“Are you done?” says girl's voice. It’s Cecily. She’s something like our manager. She’s just making sure that we have everything I need before the show starts. 

“Y-yeah.” I whisper and turn around when she opens the door. 

“Sweet jesus finally. Come on, we need to get you ready.”

Jimmy’s pov

When I enter the club, the music doesn’t sound so loud anymore. The purple theme is everywhere, such as the smell of weed and cigarettes. I can’t say i like it but It’s kinda annoying. I start looking for my friend Rowan. You know, the friend who invited me. 

I swear to fucking god that I’m gonna kick his ass when i see him. He said there is not gonna be many people today but this place is packed. To my suprise It’s mostly men. I heard this is a Bisexual club, which kinda explains the whole colour theme. Rowan once told me that the colour change based on what gender is dancing. Pink for girls and blue for boys. And since i can’t hear any music, it seems that purple is signal that nobody is dancing. I smell a little discrimination againts non-binary people here. 

“Hey JimJam!” I hear from somewhere around me. I start search for that one familiar face in a massive group of people. “Over here!” My eyes hit the spot where the bar is. Of course. My dumb ass should have figure out when you’re bartender you’re probably gonna work at bar. 

I try to walk through the groups of people without making any eye contact. It’s harder than you think. 

When I finally get myself to the bar table, Rowan has wide smile on his face. He reaches for a hug and I’m more than happy to give him one. “Happy Birthday Jim-Jam” He whispers while squeezing my shoulders.God, I forgot again. Birthdays were never very imporant to me. It just me tells that I’m one year closer to my death. And when you come from rich family, the gifts are losing their value. You can have anything you ask for anytime of the year. I never liked the gifts my parents gave me. It always felt like they  had to give me something and not because they loved me or some shit. 

I hum back as a response. 

He breaks the hug and as he’s coming back to his place I can hear him ask: “So what can i get ya?”

I think for second. I’m not big fan of alcohol. I came here just because he wanted me to.

“Dunno. Suprise me.“ I answer while sitting on one of those uncomfortable chairs. 

“You got it my boy.” he says with smile,turning to his little table with thousands of bottles. 

I start to look around. From my seat I can see the dancing stage or however the fuck you wanna call that. 

“So how is your sister?” he asks.

I look at him. “Fine I guess. I had to think of very good excuse to actually come here”

He laughs while giving me a drink. I gladly take it with smile. He’s holding a glass of something as well. 

“Well happy Birthday buddy. Cheers!”

“Cheers” 

I take a sip. Not bad at all. Rowan knows what he is doing. I start look around again. Rowan rests his elbows on the table.

“Don’t you feel uncomfortable in Bisexual club when you’re straight?” I ask while taking another sip. He’s silent for a sec. 

“Hm i don’t care really. Unless someone is offering me sex I’m fine”

I hum. Rowan is really loyal to his girlfriend so i was kinda expacting answer like this. His girlfriend is seriously... something. She’s definitely not the kind of person I would like to be friends with.

I didn’t even noticed how quickly I finished my drink but Rowan already had my glass in his hand, making me another drink. I also noticed how people started to sit down.

“Is there any shows what are about to happen?”

“Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you about it. A group of our boys is going to dance tonight but i don’t remember which one of them” 

Well now it makes sense why is so many people here. 

“You could at least have warned me... The last thing i wanna see is some dudes masturbating over naked men.”

He turns to look at me, drink in his hands.

“If you get sick or uncomfortable you can talk to me or something. Or you know.. just leave.”

I’ve been sitting here for like 15 minutes. It would be weird to call Angel now. 

“Ahhh fine. Whatever. I will let you know if I get uncomfortable.” I take another sip This one tastes stronger. 

Me and Rowan talk about random shit for like 5 more minutes when we start noticing that everybody, one by one, went silent. Moment after the lights change to dark blue colour. 

“The show is about to begin.” He says while putting his hand on my shouder. 

The anxiety is hitting again. I don’t know what to expect. 

** Lister’s pov  **

Cecily is doing some shit on my face. The show should start in 5 minutes. I’m already dressed. Well.. I wouldn’t call it ‘dressed’ when the only things i’m wearingare tight shorts and a little bow tie around my neck. I used to have a hat too but one time it fell somewhere to the audience and i have never seen it again. It was nice hat. Kinda miss it. 

“And done. You look lovely baby”

She tells me this everytime. Maybe to increase confidence or some shit. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, telling myself this is the last dance this week. 

“Don’t worry. You got this hun. You have done this so many times” I hear the smile in her voice. She’s right tho. I have done this so many times. And I’m sick of it. 

I open my eyes and stand before the curtain. There is a long silence outside which means they are waiting for me. And I’m waiting for that one song to starts to play. I normally dance to calm and kind of aesthetic music and this song is no exception. It’s the song Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood. One of my favorite ones. I think it describes me as a person. But nobody cares about my personality so why did i even mentioned it. The changes are even you don’t care about my personality. I’m just a good lucking body and that all that matters.

The melody starts playing. I take other deep breath, pull away the curtain and slowly walk on the stage. I can hear some people clap and cheering but to be honest, i don’t give a fuck. 

This is the part where i turn off my mind and let my body do what it has to do. It knows what to do, which gives my mind a little break. That’s why while i dance i dont remember anything. Everything i see and hear becomes just a blur. 

When i walk to the dancing pole, i gently hold it and i always wink to the audients. I don’t know why i do that but they always seem to love it. I’m waiting for the moment when the lyrics start to play.

** Jimmy’s pov  **

I don’t recognize the song. It’s way too slow for my taste. I see some guy walk out. Blond hair, bright blue eyes that look like they could glow in the dark and a nice body. 

To be honest, I have never seen someone with such smooth movements. And he haven’t even start dancing. When you look at him, you can tell He has been doing this for years. 

Some people are clapping so I do as well because I dont know what else to do. He winks, which makes me blush. Just a bit. The lyrics starts playing and he starts dancing.

Wow the moves, the song. It just all go so well together. He seriously looks like he was made for this. 

Something is telling me to go closer. I stand up without really thinking about it. In the back i just hear Rowan go: “Jim?..” but that doens’t stop me from getting closer. Something about this boy is just so beautiful. I sit down somewhere, didn’t really care where. Just somewhere. And kept watching him. 

That night i realise how beautiful pole dancing can be. It should be an art form. Or is it just him? Is he the art part? 

I seriously could stare at him for ages. 

** Lister’s pov  **

When I finally landed my feet on the ground, all i could feel was massive pain throughout my whole body. My legs and arms are burning. But i have to end it. So i blow some kisses to the audients. And as always, they seem to love it. They loveeverything about me. Shame i cant say the same to myself. 

I walk back to the curtain, giving them last finger gun and a wink. When i enter the back stage, i take it off my bow tie and quickly grab my oversized hoodie. It was finally over for this week. 

I can see other boy in our group in the back, Cecily doing something with his face. His show starts in like 15 minutes so i dont understaind why he’s here so early. His name is Jack. He’s wearing a tie on his neck and such as me, a tight shorts. 

“You were amazing honey..” He smiles at me. His smile is my least favorite thing on this world. I hate him. i hate all my coworkers. But this one the most. 

He walks to my direction, I can feel the panic in my body. 

Please not again. 

He stands right before me, pushing me to the wall. He strokes my arm, my shoulder, my neck and then my cheek. I can feel the tears coming. Why is nobody reacting to this? Cecity knows i hate when he does this. I’ve told her million times. 

“Please don-“ i whisper, trying to push him away with my hand but It’s too late. His lips are already on mine. I feel the pressure to kiss back. So i do. And I don’t like it. 

He pulls away after few seconds. He gives me line of kisses on my neck but to me it feels like thorns getting stuck into my skin. At this point I was seriously crying. I ended up kicking him into his balls. 

I’m expecting some negative reaction but all he did was a quiet laugh.

“Go fuck yourself..´ I say. I kick him once again and leave to my dressing room where I immediately broke into tears.

I can’t do this anymore.

i’m not gonna continue writing this sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Idk if I’m gonna continue writing this lmao. Just this too me like 2 weeks to write. (I’m not english speaking person)  
> Also big thanks goes to my friends Evan and Matilda for helping me to find grammar errors.


End file.
